And, yeah, we all know that I’ve always had an issue with it, but lately it just has been something getting under my skin.

I cannot STAND that people see me as fat and ugly. I mean, men are extremely visual and judge you on the spot. I HATE THAT! Women are even worse, but at least I don’t have to worry about them so much because I’m not trying to get into a relationship with them.

Brent even admitted and apologized for being a “visual person.” But at the same time, he wasn’t that sorry because, really, how can you be sorry for how you feel?

So, some time ago, my heart crunched, and a part of me gave up. I mean, if you people don’t care, then why should I?

I have put on a lot of weight in the past several months to a year, and the sickening thing is that I HAVE TWO GYM MEMBERSHIPS!! What the heck?!

So, I have been going to the doctor to find out what is wrong with me. I’ve been eating terribly, it’s true, but at the same time, I can’t lose weight, and I get dizzy with any physical activity. Thank goodness that the only thing wrong so far is that I have low iron. This new doctor of mine (a D.O.) is doing different tests on me. Next up is a cardiology test on Tuesday.

In the meantime, I am resolving to at least get back into shape. I know I won’t be up to par with the white bikini, but at the minimum, I don’t want to be an embarrassment at the beach.